just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
