considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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