Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
