didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
zippers are such a cool invention
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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