how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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