i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
