Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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