How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
