Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
