when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
