Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
