I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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