It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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