how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
