Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Randomize