I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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