Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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