Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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