I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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