omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
This is my gift to your gina
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
