Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
