Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize