Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
we're making bets on your personal life
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
