You just made me feel so damn special
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
