Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
