xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize