Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
