can we get nightvision for the apartment?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
