You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I look better un-naked...
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
