Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
