What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
