i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
