.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Randomize
