Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
