okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Reggie can tackle my bush.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
