who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Congratulations! We have a period
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