Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm bleeding and have questions
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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