I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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