Taylor Swift is so right about you.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
