its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
