Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize