i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Let's get the cat blown out
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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