so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
