someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
