I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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