put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
