Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
