I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
