Sponge bath it is.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
