I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
