Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize