Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
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