Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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