I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
