Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
