just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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