so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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