I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
