please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
