Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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