yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
