Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
