sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
it was like eating out sand paper
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Is Oprah even human
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
